(This is very different than what I usually write about but it's been playing in my mind for quite some time. So here it is! I haven't had time to proofread the piece. So please bear with the typing mistakes, if any.)
A day or
two before the eighth of March, the media frenzy in India about the banning of
the documentary 'India's Daughter' by the Indian government started. It
continued to rage on till it died a natural death with fresh news items
occupying centre stage. After all, the business of news is not charitable, it
has to follow the overwhelming national sentiments and as Women’s day had come
and gone, celebrating womanhood and condemning crimes against women could
safely be put into the backburner till either another incident similar to the
brutal Delhi gang rape happened to shock the conspicuously shallow conscience
of the Indian society or the next Women’s day, whichever came before.
International
Women’s Day is a concept that has been relatively easy for the 21st Century
Indian society to accept. Rich or poor, old or young, educated or not,
conservative or liberal, the large majority of Indians have taken to
celebrating 'womanhood', crediting the women in their lives with the hugely
important roles they play, both on a personal level and as members of society,
with marked enthusiasm. After all, it is the one day that is especially
reserved for women, right? If we celebrate that one day with pomp and show,
make the women of our lives and those in the periphery of it feel valued, we
can get by the rest 364 days in peace having fulfilled our civic and
humanitarian duty. Hell, even politicians, those elusive men and women to
uphold the lofty ideals of the greatest democracy of the world participate!
Less than a
month before millions of Indians 'honour' and 'respect' the women in their
lives, on the fourteenth of February every year, falls Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s
day, the day of love and romance, dreams and happiness, right? Right? Wrong. In
India, the greatest democracy of the world where the lengthiest written
Constitution of the world upholds the 'rule of law', fourteenth of February is
pretty close to being anarchic. Self proclaimed protectors of 'Indian culture'
patrol the roads for hapless couples who brave being forced into wedlock to
venture out in the open, the roads fill with catcalls about roses and kisses
every time a woman walks out on her own, the police in a troubling departure
from their plethora of duties exults in assaulting couples who have somehow
escaped the clutches of the aforementioned moral police and the media
broadcasts all of this, almost akin to a gleeful voyeur. Members of the 21st
Century Indian society, rich or poor, old or young, educated or not,
conservative or liberal, sit back in the luxury of their homes and offices and
roadside tea shops and watch the spectacle unfold. The days following Valentine’s
day do not witness any protests. Civil society is quiet, the politicians are
quiet. Valentine’s day and the ensuing chaos is too inconsequential for the
Indians as a people to engage themselves with. After all, this whole narrative
surrounding Valentine’s day is a corporate gimmick to increase sales of soft toys
and chocolates and, God forbid, condoms! Right? What does it have to woman
empowerment?! Why should the upholders of the society's collective conscience
waste its precious time and resources protecting those delinquent few who
cannot keep it in their pants? Why indeed? After all, Indians don't fall in
love, Indian women don't roam around with men who have not been duly chosen and
vetted by their families, Indians don't engage in public display of affection,
never hold hands and never ever have sex. No. And definitely not Indian women.
No. Indian women do not do anything outside wedlock. And even within a
marriage, the personal life of the couple (read as their sex life) is clearly
beyond discussion. Sssh. Indians do not have sex. Or do anything sexual. Especially
Indian women. It is against Indian culture, you see.
Fourteenth
of February is the day Indian society reclaims its women, firmly binds their
sexuality in the garb of culture and keeps them at home. It tells them on
fourteenth February that they can go about their lives and jobs only if they
are good girls who listen to their parents. It tells them that they are free to
do anything but cannot be independent with respect to their sexualities. It
keeps them firmly under the lock to let them out for a day on the eighth of
March. It lets them have a day to themselves, it celebrates its triumph over
them, it casts them into roles of mothers and daughters and sisters. And then
it puts them back into the little black room of culture and propriety.
Don't get
me wrong. Women’s day is important. It is very important. It is important to
celebrate the great advances that women have made over the last couple of
centuries, it is necessary to cherish the stories of extraordinary women who
have fought against all odds to make it big in life. However, it is important
to remember that a narrative surrounding achievements of great women will be
only partly successful in empowering the millions of common women of the
country. For the narrative surrounding Women’s day to succeed, the narrative
surrounding Valentine’s day and all that it represents has to be broken. India
needs to celebrate Valentine’s day, make Valentine’s day its own, much before
it can even scratch the surface of women empowerment.
